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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!
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Anyway, I finally get to the park, and it’s packed. Families, kids, dogs—total chaos. I find a bench, plop down, and just breathe. But then, I see this guy trying to impress a girl. He’s showing off his skateboard skills, and honestly, it’s cringy. He wipes out hard, and I can’t help but laugh. Like, bro, you’re not Tony Hawk!
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